But I did attend the 20yr reunion. I did walk up to people that I was too scared to walk up to during High School and asked them to sign my yearbook. And you know what? They were pretty cool people. Kids, careers, fears, hopes, neurosis… we were, and are all, people in progress. I needed to reconnect to some sense of … well connectedness. This past couple of years has led to deep divisions in the poplulation and the only way I see past the depressive thoughts that lie down that road is to realize, we are all people.
Good, bad, mistakes, and successes, we are all people. People that I spent a great deal hiding from because I shared no love of football or country music I felt .. different than. So instead of talking or reaching out, I hid. I had convinced myself I couldn’t care less what people thought. That is a partial truth, because while I would never take an outside voice as my guiding voice, it mattered still to be … ok .. in the eyes of others, to not be so far outside, to restore a faith of sorts in the human-ness of us all. I would spend many more hours typing deep thoughts and trying to solve the worlds problems, but right now, I’m going to think of laughter and hugs, burning old assumptions, and really being ok with caring what people think. It doesn’t change who I am, but it is part of who I am, and that is good to face too.